Why is Abiding So Unnatural for the Human Heart

Why does abiding in Jesus feel so unnatural?
And why is it so difficult for the human heart?

Abiding is the second greatest invitation Jesus gave His disciples. The first invitation was given to the whole world.

Jesus came and said, “Come to Me.”
Come to Me for life and life to the fullest.
Come to Me to find rest for your souls.
Come to Me for forgiveness of sins.
Come to Me for eternal life.

But then Jesus gave a second invitation to those who truly did come to him.

His second invitation was this:
“Now stay with Me.”

In John 15, Jesus invites His disciples to abide in Him and promises that He will abide in them. This is an invitation into a deep, daily, living connection with Christ. A moment by moment dependence on Jesus that produces real life, peace, joy, holiness, stability, and spiritual power.

So what does it actually mean to abide?

To abide in Christ is to live from Christ as your source rather than merely living for Christ as your goal. It is the daily posture of the soul that says, “Jesus is not just who I believe in, He is who I draw life from.” Abiding means Christ becomes the place your heart returns to when pressure rises, when temptation appears, when anxiety creeps in, when decisions must be made, and when strength is required. It is not a feeling. It is not even a constant awareness. It is not spiritual intensity. It is dependence. It is learning to receive life from Christ rather than producing life for Christ through self effort.

But if abiding is so life giving, why is it so difficult?
Why is it so hard to truly rely on Christ daily?
Why is it our natural instinct to lean on almost anything other than Jesus minute by minute?
Why does abiding feel so unnatural to the flesh?

Believe it or not, Jeremiah answers this question with startling clarity.

In Jeremiah 17, the prophet is speaking to an Israel that has drifted over generations. Not all at once. Not overnight. Slowly and quietly they moved farther from God and deeper into sin. But in this chapter, Jeremiah does not simply describe the outcome of spiritual drift. He diagnoses the heart condition that causes it.

In Jeremiah 17:5–6, he paints the picture of a life rooted in self.
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord.”

This is not a life that denies God’s existence. This is not atheism. This is something far more subtle and far more common. This is a life that believes in God but does not depend on God. A life that knows truth but does not draw life from truth. What might be called functional independence.

Jeremiah reveals three key truths about the life rooted in self.

First, they trust in man.
They instinctively depend on human solutions. Strategy, wisdom, effort, personality, experience, money, productivity, discipline, control. God may be acknowledged, but He is not relied upon.

Second, they make flesh their strength.
This means the soul is self sufficient. It leans on its own ability to endure stress, fix problems, manage emotions, overcome temptation, navigate suffering, and carry weight. In daily life this looks like processing anxiety without prayer, making decisions without listening, handling conflict without surrender, enduring exhaustion without returning to Christ, and treating Jesus as a supplement rather than a source.

Third, and most revealing, Jeremiah says the heart turns away from the Lord.
Not out right rebellion at first. Not obvious wickedness. But a slow spiritual drift.
The heart slowly shifts its weight. More confidence in self. Less dependence on God. Over time the soul becomes rooted in self while still appearing spiritually active. Only later does the visible rebellion emerge. Long before the sin explodes, the life has already dried up.

Jeremiah gives imagery for this condition.
“He is like a shrub in the desert, living in the parched places of the wilderness.”

The shrub is alive, but barely. Surviving, not thriving. No deep source. No lasting nourishment.

This is public religion without private dependence.
This is outward motion without inward spiritual life.
This is constant activity without abiding.

A heart saved by grace but functioning in self reliance. Struggling to survive spiritually, let alone produce fruit.

Then Jeremiah paints the opposite picture.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.”

This soul is not simply trusting God FOR things. It is trusting God Himself with everything.

The imagery changes completely.
A shrub becomes a tree.
A desert becomes a riverbank.
Survival becomes fruitfulness.

The one who trusts in God is like a tree planted by water. Roots go deep. Life flows from a hidden source. Heat still comes. Drought still plagues it. Pressure still exists. But the soul remains stable, nourished, peaceful, and fruitful.

This is the same spiritual reality of abiding spoken of centuries before John 15.

The difference is not circumstances.
The difference is source.

But the deepest insight of this chapter comes next.

Jeremiah explains why abiding feels so unnatural.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

Jeremiah is not simply exhibiting random negativity but declaring a deep spiritual truth.
The prophet is revealing a spiritual reality that is both profound and painfully logical in the context of this chapter. He is showing us that the reason humans trust themselves instead of God is not usually rebellion but self deception. The human heart lies to itself about its true condition. It overestimates its own strength and quietly tells us, “You can handle this without God.” It underestimates its need and convinces us that we are far more self sufficient than we truly are.

The heart rationalizes independence and presents it as wisdom. It persuades us that relying on ourselves is maturity and that deep daily dependence on God is optional. It also mistakes activity for health, convincing us that busyness, productivity, and religious motion mean we are spiritually alive and well.

This is exactly what happened in Jeremiah’s day. The people still prayed, still worshiped, and still participated in temple life, yet inwardly they were spiritually dry, disconnected, and slowly drifting toward deeper sin. Jeremiah is exposing why people consistently choose self reliance over trust in God and why the heart resists dependence. This is why abiding feels so unnatural to the flesh and why trusting Christ moment by moment is so difficult for the human soul.

The flesh resists dependence. The heart prefers control. The soul drifts toward self reliance without even realizing it.

But God does not leave us there.
“I the Lord search the heart and test the mind.”

This is not a threat. It is mercy and the actions of a good God who deeply loves his people.

God exposes what we are truly rooted in. Sometimes through difficulty. Sometimes through exhaustion. Sometimes through emptiness that success cannot fix.

God’s testing reveals our source. Not to shame us, but to heal us. Not to punish us, but to re-root us.

Jeremiah teaches us that life flows from either self or from God, and the human heart is so deceptive that only God can show us which one we are actually living from.

This is why the Christian life cannot be about striving to perform for Jesus. It must become about striving to stay close to Jesus. Abiding is not advanced Christianity. It is Christianity as it was always meant to be lived.

Life does not flow from effort.
It flows from union.

And until the heart learns that, abiding will always feel unnatural.